#the most difficult time ive had in a while haha

[writingwhimsey]

Married to The Enemy- Shingen Ch. 37

Warning: This chapter got a little long haha. Sorry!

Chapter 37

A week had passed since Shingen’s surgery. Dr. Sato had given us the wonderful news that Shingen’s tumor had been benign. I was thrilled by this news as was Shingen. Even better, Shingen was being released from the hospital! Granted we still had to make a few followup appointments to be sure Shingen was healing okay and there were no signs of the tumor coming back or any new tumors growing. The doctor was confident there wouldn’t be, but we still had to come back to be sure.

Given the timing of the appointments, this would keep us in the future for a minimum of six months. While I wanted to get back to our home (and I know Shingen did as well), I was excited to get to share so much of my original time with him. I had a spring in my step as I made my way to Shingen’s room, a small bag of clothes for him in my hand.

“Good morning, my angel.” Shingen greeted me as I walked into his room, wearing another flowy sundress.

“Good morning, my love.” I greeted, walking over and giving him a peck on the lips.

“Your smile looks especially radiant today.” He said, lifting a hand to caress my cheek.

“Well, I do get to take you out of here today.” I replied. “Which means you’re healing up well.”

Shingen smiled. “And it means I get to sleep with you in my arms tonight.”

I grinned. “There is that.” It had only been a handful of nights I had been allowed to stay at the hospital with Shingen. Most of the time they shooed me out when visiting hours were over. And since his surgery, I hadn’t dared even sit in the bed with him, afraid I’d hurt him.

It was then that a nurse was coming in. She was removing Shingen’s IV and unhooking him from all of the monitors he’d been attached to during his stay. Shortly after she finished and left, Dr. Sato was coming in to give us Shingen’s discharge instructions.

“Alright, Mr. Takahashi, how are you feeling?” He asked.

“Pretty good.” Shingen answered. “And rather excited to get out of here.”

Dr. Sato smiled. “I can imagine.” He said. “Just remember to take things easy. I know you are used to a higher activity level, but you should slowly work back up to that. Your body is still healing. Nothing too strenuous for a few weeks. Though do keep walking and moving. We don’t want blood clots to develop. Your incision should be close to being completely closed up, but still keep the area clean and dry to keep away infection. Be careful not to reopen it as well. Then we’ll see you back here in two weeks for your first followup.”

“Don’t worry, I will make sure he follows all of those instructions.” I said.

The doctor gave us more instructions and we had to sign a few forms, then we were free to get Shingen out of there. I was pulling the clothes I had brought for Shingen from the bag. I explained what I had brought for him, a pair of black basketball shorts, a white t-shirt, some boxers, socks and the sandals he had been wearing when we arrived. I was good at figuring out most clothing sizes…but shoe sizes were a bit more difficult.

“These are some more comfy clothes. I figured since you’re still recovering, we’ll just head back to the apartment and just have an in-home night. We’ll watch some movies and I’ll make us a nice dinner and some chocolate chip cookies.” I told Shingen, when he finished getting dressed, looking incredibly handsome even in such relaxed clothing.

“These are pretty comfortable.” Shingen replied. “Are you sure you don’t want to go out? I’m feeling pretty good.”

“Shingen, you’re still on pain medication.” I replied. “Also Dr. Sato just said you have to take it easy. And there is nothing easier than cuddling up at home on the couch and watching some movies.”

Shingen smiled. “I still don’t understand what these movies are, but I like the sound of cuddling up with you.” He was then wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a hug.

I smiled as I reveled in that hug. “Alright, let’s get going. I’m ready to get you home…well our temporary home anyways.”

Shingen smiled. “I am looking forward to it.” He said, kissing me on the forehead.

We left the hospital, hand-in-hand. I happily led Shingen to the apartment building and to our apartment. “Now it’s nothing fancy or anything, but it will do for what we need while we’re here.” I said as I unlocked the door. “Welcome home, Shingen.”

Shingen smiled as he stepped inside and looked around the modern apartment. While I had been spending every spare moment I could at the hospital over the last week, my grandmother had brought over some of my old things. So I had been able to decorate the place a bit.

“I like it.” Shingen said. “It feels…like you.”

I felt my cheeks heating up. “Alright, now let me give you the grand tour.” I told him, as we took off our shoes. “This is the living room area here. This table and chairs marks the dining area. This is the kitchen. Down this little hall we have a linen closet here and then this door leads to the bathroom and then here is our bedroom.”

Shingen’s gray eyes swept over the room, taking in everything. It honestly made me a little self-conscious and worried. Did I clean it well enough? And what does he think of my decorating I wonder? I mean anything has to be better than the sterile white of the hospital room he’s been in for so long now.

“I like it. And I like that this bed is definitely big enough for the two of us.” Shingen said, giving me a rather seductive smile as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.

I giggled as I returned the embrace, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat beneath my ear. That was a sound I would never take for granted. “It has felt too big without you.” I replied. “Cuddling that spare pillow isn’t the same as cuddling up with you.”

“How can one person be so adorable?” Shingen asked before his fingers were slipping beneath my chin, tipping my head back before planting his lips on mine.

I parted my lips when I felt the prodding of his tongue, allowing the kiss to deepen. How did he always taste so sweet? We were both panting by the time we broke the kiss. I smiled up at Shingen. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Shingen replied, his hand stroking my cheek. 

I was in danger of being swept away in those seductive gray eyes. Getting swept up in the fact that he was out of the hospital and we were in the bedroom we were going to be sharing over these next few months…

“Are you hungry? I was thinking you’ve been living off of hospital food for so long now that I would make us a really nice dinner. A full spread.” I said.

“You don’t have to cook.” Shingen replied.

“But I want to.” I replied, my cheeks reddening a bit. “I…I like the idea of cooking a nice romantic dinner to enjoy with my husband.”

“Well, I can’t refuse an offer like that, then.” Shingen replied, kissing me on the forehead.

We exited the bedroom and went to the kitchen. I had told Shingen to make himself comfy on the couch, but he said he wanted to help me in the kitchen. Though really all he did was stand behind me, arms wrapped around my waist as I cooked for us. He would occasionally kiss the side of my neck.

“Mmm, it smells good. I’m not sure if it’s the food or you.” Shingen said after placing another kiss on the side of my neck.

I let out a giggle. “I wonder if you’ll say the same once I start on the cookies later.”

“What are these cookies you’ve mentioned?” Shingen asked.

“They’re a delicious dessert. One of the best sweets ever made.” I answered. “Though the best part about them is that you can eat the dough before you bake it and it’s just as delicious.”

“Hmm, sounds good.” Shingen replied. “Though I thought you were my dessert.” He was then peppering more kisses along the side of my neck once again.

I was giggling. “You’re incorrigible.” I said though I was happy to have Shingen and his doting affection.

Once I finally got dinner finished we were sitting down to eat. “This is delicious.” Shingen declared after his first bite. He then proceeded to eat the meal with gusto.

I smiled, my cheeks flushed pleasantly from the compliment on my cooking. “I’m glad you like it.” I could see why Masamune loved to cook for others.

Shingen reached across the table and took my hand in his, bringing it to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to the back. “I think it is all the more delicious for being made by these beautiful hands.”

I grinned, my cheeks flushing further. “You exaggerate…you flirt.”

Shingen kissed my hand again. “I can’t help it when it comes to you, my love.”

We finished our dinner and then we were back in the kitchen, working on the cookies. “That dough smells delicious.” Shingen said.

“It tastes even better.” I replied, dipping my finger into the bowl and scooping up a bit of the dough. I held my finger up to Shingen’s lips. “You should try it.”

Shingen smiled seductively at me as he parted his lips and took my finger between them. I could feel his tongue sliding sensually over my finger, swirling around it. His gaze held mine as he thoroughly licked my finger clean.

“Mmm, that is delicious.” Shingen said, still grinning after he had released my finger.

I couldn’t think of a response. I was melting from the way he looked at me and the way his tongue had swirled over my finger…reminding me of the other things that tongue was capable of doing.

“Ava, are you alright?” Shingen asked, lifting his hand to caress my cheek.

“Fine.” I replied. “I just…we have cookies to finish baking.” I was then turning back to get things ready.

Shingen chuckled as he moved to stand behind me, his hands going to rest on my hips. He was then kissing my neck just as he had while I had been making dinner. “I still think you might be sweeter.”

Somehow I managed to get the cookies baked. I got Shingen to settle in on the couch and had a plate of cookies. “I’m going to put on my pajamas and then I’ll settle in with you and we’ll watch a movie.”

“I look forward to seeing your pajamas.” He said, grinning at me before picking up a cookie.

I felt myself flushing once again. “You better not eat all of those cookies while I’m gone.” I teased.

“I make no promises.They’re delicious.”  Shingen replied.

I giggled and then headed to change. I took off my sundress and bra and slid into a pair of cotton pajama shorts that were pink and white striped and a white tank top. I then headed out to join Shingen in the living room.

Shingen’s eyes widened as I came out of the bedroom. He was setting the plate of cookies off to the side and opening his arms up for me. “Come here, my angel.”

I giggled as I sat down by him and nestled into his arms. “I take it you like my pajamas?”

“I like all of the clothes you’ve been wearing since we’ve come to your time.” Shingen replied, his hands beginning to run over my legs. “All of your clothes have been so…revealing. I like them.”

I giggled. “Why did I have a feeling you would?” I asked, grinning up at him.

“Because you know me so well, my love.” Shingen replied, leaning in to give me a peck on the lips.

I smiled at him. “Alright, we should get this movie going.” I declared grabbing the remote and flipping on the TV.

“You said these movies are like plays that have been recorded to be watched over and over, right?” Shingen asked.

I nodded. “Yup, that’s the gist of it. And we use the TV’s to watch them…and I think we should start with one of my favorites, The Princess Bride.”

“A favorite? Well, then I definitely have to pay attention to this.” Shingen said. “What is it you love about it?”

“It’s a love story with adventure and fantasy. A dashing rescue. The works.” I answered.

Shingen smiled and hugged me tighter. “Then I think I will definitely enjoy it as well.”

We snuggled up on the couch and I found the movie and got it playing. Shingen kept his arms around me the entire time we watched the movie. He would turn his head every so often to place a kiss on my forehead or the top of my head. But he was definitely paying attention to the movie. 

“A very romantic story indeed.” Shingen said once the movie had finished. “I can see why you like it so much.”

“What did you think of it?” I asked.

“A good…movie.” Shingen answered. “I liked it.”

I smiled happy that he had enjoyed one of my favorite movies. “Why don’t we watch another one?”

Shingen smiled at me. “As you wish.”***

I may or may not have melted right there. I leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips. “How can one man be so perfect?” I asked after pulling away.

“I am far from perfect.” Shingen countered.

“Well, you’re pretty perfect for me.” I replied. “Quoting my favorite movie. Being so sweet and loving and affectionate. Always making me smile and laugh. Your kindness. I could go on all night.”

“As could I about you, my angel.” Shingen replied. “Though I would rather show you my love in another way.” He was then pulling me closer, his large hands beginning to wander over my curves. His lips on my neck.

I giggled. “Shingen…you just got out of the hospital.”

“Yes, and I am feeling perfectly well.” Shingen replied, nipping at my ear.

I shivered. “Shingen…you heard the doctor…he said nothing…strenuous…”

“There is absolutely nothing strenuous about loving my goddess.” Shingen countered. He was then moving, pulling me into his lap. He’d had to twist his torso…and I saw him wince.

“What was that?”

“N…Nothing…” Shingen let out in a partial groan.

I put my hands on either side of his face. I could see the pain in his eyes. “As much as I would love nothing more than to make love right now, I’d really rather you not hurt yourself.” I said. “You just got out of the hospital…you just had surgery a week ago. Major surgery at that.”

“You are…probably right.” Shingen admitted with a resigned sigh. “But once I have made a full recovery, I plan to worship my goddess properly for taking such good care of me.”

“And I won’t stop you then.” I replied, grinning. “Let me go get your medication.” I gave him a kiss and then returned with the pain medicine and a glass of water.

After that, Shingen and I settled in to watch another movie, all cuddled up once again. By the end of the movie, we were heading for bed, the medicine making Shingen drowsy. Once we had climbed under the covers, Shingen’s arms were wrapping around me and pulling me close.

I nestled into his embrace, my head resting against his chest. I could feel his warmth and hear his heart beating beneath my ear. I could breathe in his scent. “I love you, Shingen.” I murmured as my eyes slowly drifted closed.

“I love you, Ava.” Shingen replied.

We both fell asleep quickly and slept quite soundly wrapped up in each other’s arms. Having Shingen was definitely better than any pillow.

Taglist: @limonzu @zulablaise @oda-princess @kisara-16 @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @lucyw260 @selenacosmic

[strangegutz]

Apologies if you've answered an ask like this before, but I've noticed that your drawing style and your dollmaking are very different, with your dolls being more stylized. Would you say that developing an art style for your dolls was easier/harder/different than finding a drawing style, and is there a reason you gravitate towards a 3D art style so different from your 2D one? I ask because I've always drawn in a semi-realistic style but want to make dolls, and I was wondering what it's like to make the jump. Personally, I feel like I struggle to unlearn/make myself get over the rules of proportions and anatomy in order to make more stylized stuff. Sorry for rambling a bit!

I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out a good way to answer the first part of your question, about developing the separate art styles- I might get back to you on that if I can think of anything later (particularly difficult bc theyre both styles ive had for a Long Time that have just evolved over time so it's hard to pinpoint feelings on the development)

As for why they're so different, it's mostly because most dolls you see are pretty realistic, to a degree. I think it's more fun, visually striking, and just all around easier on my brain to make them styled out of a bunch of cobbled together shapes- it tickles something in my brain, and it feels like I'm making something fresh. That being said, it's also my skill level, I couldn't make a 3D version of my usual 2D art style if I tried- drawing noses at all angles is hard enough, sculpting them? I'd explode.

Also with them having bendy wire for bodies, it feels more fitting to be extra stylized, rather than something realistic with rubberhose arms

I'll also add that I can/have drawn 2D work in my 3D style, but haven't in a while- it's easier to jump around to different styles on paper than it is with full on sculptures, haha

I do want to make dolls of a couple of my cowboy characters, it'll be interesting to compare the two styles side by side!

[thelunarfairy]

About season 2…

hi again!

so i’m sure you know that there with be a season two of tbhk, so ive been wondering: how much more of the manga do you think will be covered? do you think they’ll skip around again? and also, do you think they may include the hananene kiss scene(chapter 86), or is that too late in the manga for them to animate? haha sorry, i’ve been trying to come up with my own theories but i’m terrible at this

Hello :DDD

So, it will depend on the number of episodes and whether they will follow the correct order. The first season was so short, they managed to adapt some parts of the manga but it was all very rushed.

If the second season has 12 episodes, they will probably end it in the PP arc (because they ended the first season in the arc of Mitsuba's return, after that would be the festival, where Nene meets little Amane, and followed by that, the PP arc) .

If it goes like the first season, we still don't know if they will adapt the exorcist's arc. Tsukasa drew on the wall in the last episode of the anime, they also intended to animate the first arc of the clock (which reveals about Nene's lifespan).

If the second season and the reboot of the first are long, with 24 episodes, then I think they can get to the beginning of arc number six (being positive) imagining that they don't skip arcs or change their order.

It will also depend on how much they will develop the arc. For example, the mermaid's arc developed very quickly and skipped some important parts, while Mitsuba's arc had a little more screen time.

So, everything will depend…. I wish they would adapt the arc of the red house ;-;

Hahaha it's like that, theories come out of nowhere, sometimes they seem to make sense, sometimes they don't… Remember that it's JSHK, this manga is difficult to make theories, it has a lot of information and most of it is contradictory hahaha so don't demand too much from yourself ;)

[year2000electronics]

Hi, just being curious, what do you think is the greatest difficulty you’ve faced carrying out the storyline in your ask blogs (aside from potential burnout)?

Is there any time where the asks were not going towards the direction where you’d want them to go, and how did you steer the story back on track?

Do you have any techniques giving out clues or keeping the pace of the ask blog?

[sorry these are a lot. Of questions. It’s just, it’s amazing how you are able to run multiple successful askblogs, and I’m curious how you did it]

OOOH THESE ARE SOME INTERESTING QUESTIONS! really pickin at my old noggin here...

id say probably the most difficult part is like... ok through my tenure ive obviously had some physically taxing moments, moments of people being way too mean, people being way too NICE, people complaining that every single member of a giant ensemble cast doesnt get the exact same amount of screentime etc etc, but id honestly say the hardest part is just. making the medium Work. when i run an ask blog like this, im basically asking people to drive the story forward with no promise of whether their choices even like. Matter. if youre not tethered enough to your asks, it can feel like youre just asking people to put a coin in the slot and letting the story play for another page. you have to play this balancing act of wanting to tell the story you want to tell while also needing peoples' help to get there. thats why an engaging story and endearing characters are so important. i wound up telling people here on my main that y2k would end with a good ending specifically because i got people concerned i genuinely would end it with a Bad End, but still even knowing that people would tune in. so its like. i always have to make sure its Engaging enough. for people to be willing to play this game with me at all. the hardest part of fishing is getting the fish to bite yk.

2. YES ALL THE TIME LOLLLL a lot of the time i will end up either picking an ask from before the topic came up and answer that one, or plant my own decoy ask. basically jingling keys at people HJSSKHASGK. but sometimes even that doesnt work! benrey in y2k has a very touchy complex about his helmet specifically because I DIDNT HAVE SPRITES WITH HIS HAIR. and i thought that his hair was kinda boring compared to what people were probably expecting (its very short and simple i draw his hair like bootleg barney) so i ended up having to answer that little thread by having an explosion and then presenting my own resolution (gordon calm him down :)) i like to think ive gotten better at key jingling though haha. usually the two types of key jingling topics i find work best are either little plot teases or a 'now back to what we were doing' ask, but if you dont want things to advance quite yet, i usually use questions that will elaborate on a character trait or introduce a new character fact

3. dont be me. /j ok actually the thing about this specific medium is like. people will send me asks guessing my twists WAAAAY early on but the thing is i can just. choose not to answer them. hehe. id personally pay attention to how often people are guessing your twists though because like. its BOUND to happen if you lay out clues some people will pick up on them. if theres not a lot of people guessing, then you can lean more into the big sting reveals of like 'NOOOOBODY EXPECTED THIS' but when a lot of people have guessed the twist, i usually make sure to present it in a way that doesnt imply that there was nobody on the right trail or that people got bamboozled. as for the clues themselves. well im about to figure that out myself again! i have some clues i need to lay in bmfe!! dont get discouraged if people pick up on what you thought was really subtle, cos like. literal day 1 of episode 3 someone literally made a powerpoint saying 'LEADING LIGHT IS BACK' and i was like ok i was just on my first crumb DAMN. as for pacing, it doesnt matter if you get the blog done in one month or one year- what does matter is PLANNING. if you know what your goal is, what your landmarks and checkpoints are, youll be able to stagger stuff successfully no matter the length. some of the best-recieved parts of y2kvr were parts i went into the session going 'this is my goal for today' for. the goals dont even have to big, it could even be something as small as like 'get from place a to place b'

SORRY THIS GOT LONG but ty for the question! reflecting on my process is interesting :]

[alicenpai]

🌟

anime north 2023 con report

finally posting this - thank you to everyone for a wonderful anime north!! \o/ this con prep season was the longest ive ever prepped for a con, and i think it was the busiest con for me ever. it makes me so happy to see people taking my art home!! 😭

so thank you for coming by anime north and chatting and supporting me! and thank you esp to the people who came by gifting their own merch?!??? - either fanart or ocs?! and im honored to see your beautiful ocs?!?? what the hell you guys are the GOAT thank you all 🥹🥹

it was so busy that i wish i had time to walk around & talk to other artists! i really wanted to get dango and onigiri at the delta too.. didnt really get time to eat so im sorry if you saw me shove 10 timbits in my mouth at the end of the con. yes i really did that .

throughout the con i kept saying "he just like me.. HE JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!!!!" every 5 seconds like an NPC. im sorry if you had to hear that more than once.

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i wasn't able to post my con catalogue for AN on tumblr and instagram... i was so busy.. dying... maybe if i do other cons this summer ill post something similar. i had a lot of new stuff this year so formatting it was rough haha. here it is! more thoughts under the cut (bc this report really is more for me, but maybe someone can find something useful)

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this is more for me honestly, so it will be really long. but i'm sharing it in case it may be helpful for others. i find that i'm always looking back at my old con reports, so typing out all of my thoughts are really useful to me. overall a great con, fellow artists and customers alike really inspire me to do better in my art.

comparisons to last year: (since i didn't end up making a con report last year!!!!!)

location: the artist alley layout was huge, and im really happy there are a lot more newcomers to the con scene. i know how much my first con experience meant to me, so i want others to join in on the fun! i don't know how the artist alley staff managed to fit so many artists in the building now! we got placed in a corner where there was a lot of breathing room, and a lot of traffic. i got lost a few times (didn't actually have time to walk around, but you know, it was to get in and out of the con centre and to the washroom/water station) because the amount of tables was overwhelming however, and the layout was super confusing. however i didn't feel as if there were any significant bottlenecks in traffic when i was taking some walk breaks.

commissions: last year it was still busy, but i still had some time to draw a handful of commissions. this year was a non stop barrage of customers! i think i may retire on the spot commissions at cons, just because ive always found it too stressful to draw right at the con, even if the traffic is slow. (and im lazy)

fandoms: last year i felt that it was... never so difficult to sell niche and old fandoms...? most people bought primarily 3 things from me at AN 2022, and not much else was touched. it was a struggle, and i even wondered if my art plateaued, if it wasn't good, if i should stop doing conventions altogether, at least for a little while. this year was so surprising with how much love there was for old and niche fandoms. two people from quebec came by and noticed the old fandoms and mentioned that if i was able to come to otakuthon, i should, people in mtl love nostalgia.. i'm gonna be honest otakuthon was pretty bad expenses-wise for me, but i heard it picked up since cons came back in 2022. it is a really beautiful city so mayhaps.. i will come for miss montreal.................

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and a separate section on the new merch i made:

the new sticker sheets i printed (one piece, baccano, breaking bad/better call saul) did so well! nts to add luffys scar bc apparently i forgot... ive seen this dumbass's face for hundreds of eps and yet i still forgot .

these are a far cry to the sticker sheets i designed in previous years. many sticker places restrict you on how many stickers you can place on a sheet due to spacing requirements... the more stickers you have + the closer they are, the higher the margin of error, which i understand is why many professional sticker printers have these restrictions in place.

the artists i worked with for my AN stickers are so genuinely nice and accommodating with my requests. I just went wild haha. the sheets with the most stickers are brba/bcs at 27 stickers and one piece at 32 stickers.

2021 (top) vs 2023 (bottom), the chara stickers on the new sheet are larger & 2x as many item stickers! the new design makes greater use of the space. my octopath 1 stickers are meant for planners but you could use it for anything!

in 2017 i could only realistically fit 6 ish stickers on a sheet (for vinyl, not cricut home printing) due to printing restrictions. these costed about $3.30 CAD per sheet from s/ticker/mule (not worth it for the price point AT ALL... but i wanted to try sheets for the first time)... and yes it's a tiny 4x7 as well. it was a hard sell for $7 in 2017. but im glad artists have been pricing them a bit higher + sheets have become much more customizable.

now on to charms:

i am so obsessed with this borderless charm look on the new charms... they look like candy... thank you guys for loving my new charms!! i tried out a new technique with designing charms. and im so happy with how they turned out. the charm manu was super accommodating and they are so much better than vograce who fucked up my order so bad in 2022 🤡👍

the soul eater charms from last year were kind of a precursor to this. last year i tried something a bit different than my usual with the transparent bgs, which require full bleed in the file setup, and that was already pretty new for me. i find that charm sales are usually pretty mid for me, so during the pandemic i took a soft break from making them, and i wanted to do research based on others' designs and really tried to improve my design sense. to me i want to design charms that aren't just a flat piece of artwork that gets printed, but something that utilizes the capabilities of the acrylic material it gets printed on 🤔

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fandoms/merch types i want to try next time i table:

more soul eater? it's one of my favourite animes and im very happy for the soul eater love this year. my partner kept selling out of her soul eater prints even though it was her first time tabling!

fma! ive been rereading AND rewatching it lately. it's one of my top 5 anime of all time so me drawing anything for it is a struggle, the bar is set so high. i never end up having the time or ideas to draw anything for it (and the aesthetics are very different from my usual taste)

shadows house has been one of my favorites recently!

dungeon meshi, the print i made was back in 2018 and i think it's time to retire it! it sold out at AN, thank you! with the way the story has developed in the last 5 years, i really want to draw something new for it if i can.

blue period needs more love!

golden kamuy.....

and many more.....

i also want to try mini prints maybe...

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administrative stuff:

next time before the con, i definitely need an organized chart i print out before the con so im not.. literally writing down each transaction... 🧍‍♀️

clamps...?

possibly new display? grids even with plastic panels are heavy... and they can be a pain to put up. this AN we had our neighbors and good friends @nappotuna & @stripeyworm helping us put the grids up, they did an absolute speedy banger job! but it might have taken way longer without 4 hands on the grid work.

if we had used tape to hold our prints up as well who knows how long it would have taken. we used magnets, apparently a lot of people were using them at TCAF. they were so easy to put up and adjustable. *jesse pinkman voice* MAGNETS, BITCH!!!!!!!

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merch i may shelve/do less of:

i really appreciate when artists talk about these kind of things behind the scenes... when products do well, when others dont, products w surprising responses, the factors that we think affect sales... the hard truth is that not everything sells, just bc the art is good =/= good sales, etc etc.

lately ive found it so fun to design sticker sheets over individual die cut stickers!! i understand now why some people only specialize in stickers!! it's also such a pain to stock individual characters and have greatly varying levels, bc of customer interest, and bc of how printing stickers works, you often get extras of random characters due to overflow 😭.. like at some point I had 7 jeannes and like only 1 of the other vnc charas bc the printer had so many extras and she's arguably less popular HDHFJSJHDJS anyways, i think i'll probably do less die cut individual stickers for my next con...

anything old that i only have 1 or a few copies left (meaning i won't reprint) i may not have for display anymore bc of space concerns... before my next con ill just post them on social media to have people claim them!

i may want to do less 3" charms in the future...? theyre a hard sell online prob bc i cant really do deals (i could but id have to be checking the stock every few hours which is not ideal), but they do a lot better in person due to deals.

it's been fun to try specialty products (I've tried scrunchies, stamps, pouches, microfiber cloths, coasters, enamel pins), but i... find they dont sell well for me... maybe my art doesnt have that wide mainstream nostalgic merch type appeal idk... maybe im just not good at designing or advertising them wahahaha. (specialty charms are still charms and i wouldn't necessary consider them a part of this)

my jojo buttons were really popular at anime north 2019 and fan expo 2019, but when the part 5 anime concluded, i noticed that interest for the interest completely moved on 😭 (or it's possible that everyone who was interested bought the buttons already?). part 6 anime didn't rejuvenate the same level of interest. it was a struggle to sell even more than a handful of these at each AN 2022 and 2023. right now they're taking up a lot of space in my con luggage that i'd prefer for newer, better art. i still love the art i did, but unfortunately, i think ill give them a go if i get into otakuthon (and maybe fanexpo too), then it'll be time to retire the jojo buttons. sometimes fandoms come and go so fast, and it's difficult to keep old merch around when they don't have any more interest and when they're occupying a lot of space.

my banana fish lollipop charms do not sell well, and i only sold 5 of them in a 3 year period, across cons and my shop. i created a bargain bin at AN, and it really helped me get rid of old things! unfortunately even in the bargain bin i could not sell a single one of the banana fish charms. maybe it's the art that's not appealing, the characters aren't recognizable, the price point for a lollipop charm was too high, i wasn't hitting the right audience, the market was slow around the time, even when it was included in my promo post... etc. these lollipops were my first time making specialty charms. unfortunately i think that's the last time making lollipop charms, and about time to recycle these charms, so that i have space for fresher and better art!

other thoughts moving on:

maybe go back to simplifying my art a lot more... if i keep making drawings like my great ace attorney tarot + zine, witch hat atelier print, and pandora hearts print, then id not only take 1 month per illustration, id also be destroying my arm 😭 i stopped stylizing my art in 2021 bc i found that my art was getting sloppy in 2020 + i was really struggling in life drawing in school. i needed to buckle down and be more conscientious when drawing poses, learning anatomy and structure... and bc getting back into anime in 2021 really helped me cope with the isolation of the lockdown, so that had a huge influence on my style. but bc of that i think it just took longer and longer to make illustrations and that's something i no longer really wish for.

i really like the period of my art in 2017 with a lot of my persona 4/5 art bc it still has structure even though it's simplified... and the style in my zelda icon... mayhaps experiment a bit more this summer if i can...

[doeblossom]

What was it like for Doe Whispers growing up with Raine as a parent?

this is an excellent question! ive been wanting to write all of this down so this is an excellent opportunity :D (please excuse how long it took for me to answer this, i spent a long time writing and double checking things to ensure they align with canon haha)

all of the following is headcanon about raine too. because theyre so cool and swag and i love them. warning: this is kinda long, but i wanna be thorough! but TL;DR, they try their best and are very loving, but being a busy single parent doesnt leave much room for quality time

Pre-Parenthood Raine wanted to be a parent; not only to start a family with Eda, but also just to experience raising a kid of their own and being a parent. After breaking up with Eda, they joined the Bard coven and started their teaching career. Rather than staying in Bonesborough and starting a career at Hexside (which is apparently located on the right arm), they moved closer to the castle. I imagine this is somewhere around Latissa, if not exactly in Latissa. Once their career was stable, they had Boe. Boe wasn't conceived through traditional means. Her conception was magical, and while there was outside input for her genetic makeup, Raine is the only involved parent. (Side note: Doe and Boe are both very similar, and it's debatable which one is her real name. "Boe" is fun because "Raine" + "Boe" = "RaineBoe", but this is still an insert character. For the sake of consistency through the post, I'll be calling her "Boe", but either works.)

Early Life Boe was raised with as much love as a parent could provide for their child. Up until she was about 4, Raine gave her all of their attention. Based on this post quoting Avi Roque, Raine's voice actor, there are two specific headcanons I have about them as a parent: 1) They would go by "Papa" (I wanted to match the term "Mama Eda", and feel like they would be more comfortable with masculine terms.) 2) There would be a lot of holding, handling, hugging, etc (Raine's love language is touch, so there's a lot of physical affection) Around when she was 4-5, Raine was offered a teaching position directly under the Emperor himself. And at this point is where things get VERY busy and difficult.

As a teacher, Raine wanted to be the primary one with a hand in Boe's upbringing and education. That, along with Bards having a less-than-stellar reputation, And Boe being one of those kids to easily get sick, led to her being homeschooled in bard magic. Unfortunately, a single teacher's salary can definitely not afford daycare (Belos is cruel and unjust) so Boe spent a lot of time in the faculty lounge, doing her homework, drawing, reading, etc. However, the flow of new people and students allowed her at least a little bit of interaction with others.

While Raine climbed the ladder, and learned more about Belos's corruption, Boe was left mostly to her own devices. Unfortunately, their busy life led to their relationship stunting. Yes, they still love each other as family, and they know each other very well, but from around 10-14, Boe started keeping a lot of things to herself. Throughout all of this, Raine's been busy starting a rebellion. And does Boe know? No. A lot of things rebellion related, she simply assumes is part of Raine's "Work".

Joining Canon Once Raine is elevated to a high enough status where they are set as Scooter Crane's replacement as Head Witch of the Bard coven (a couple of months before the show begins; Boe is just under, or has recently turned 16), they move into the castle permanently. The Emperor, in all his grace, provides Boe boarding as well, provided she follows in Raine's footsteps or studies to become a part of the Emperor's Coven. With all of her schooling, it's fine, but she doesn't really know if she wants to be a Bard. Sure, it's what she's most proficient in and trained to do, but there's a million different options out there to explore. Raine is very good at their job, and vocal about the need for Bards to be respected, so imagine how awfully disappointing it would be for their own, only child to pursue something else. So she just says nothing.

During Canon Working at the castle is so incredibly busy. Obviously. Raine tries to see their kid at least daily, but it's still a difficult thing. Most often, it's a wordless hug or a passing pat on the head as they rush off to another meeting (coven related or otherwise). Around this time, Boe finds out there are TWO (count 'em: two) other kids in the castle. And she wants to be friends with them SO bad. But that's a story for another time; let's just say it eventually happens.

Yes, Boe realizes something's happened after Eda's Requiem. It's subtle, and weird, but a lot of Raine's mannerisms on the surface had changed. But when they interact, nothing's different, so she brushes it off again.

Hollow Mind Heart There's a reattempt of the mind spell. But through some shenanigans, rather than Hunter and Luz going into the Emperor's mind, Sol and Boe end up in Raine's. And they see everything. And it goes about as well as you expect. Sol, understandably, runs away from the coven much like Hunter did, but in less of a "my life will end if I stay" manner; more of a "I cannot work for this man anymore" way. Boe, however, stays. She's quiet about it all, and the rift between her and Raine widens even more. She does stay at the castle, if only for a sense of stability. But best you believe she's doomsday prepping in there. Packing all of her important things in a single bag, hoarding whatever snacks she can snag, and not talking to anyone.

aaaand that's about where we are right now! i'm currently writing stuff for post hollow mind + human realm era. but in the epilogue, i imagine they become close again! but being isolated from them right after finally being ready to talk again is difficult.

[knamil]

Rambling about my comic \o/ and my plans for NaNoWriMo

Small confession: I haven't been playing diablo iv like I said I would. I did play it for almost 2 months straight when it released. And it was fun. And I did think about my comic while I played it. And a solution DID present itself. Well, a clearer understanding of the problem presented itself and from there the solution was something I could figure out.

So that was groovy and then Bliz released the big D4 patch before the first season launched and made the game feel really bad to play. Like they fixed zero things that were broken and broke many things that were working. And the worst part was that they did not know this would be poorly received. That was a sign to me that I should stop playing (aka the game wasn't fun for me anymore) so I stopped and have been chipping away at figuring out the solution for my comic.

I realized while playing d4 that it's been more than a decade since I wrote Remi and most people who will see my comic don't know her. The AU was written at a time where my audience was basically 100% mutuals who knew Remi so I didn't need to show who she was and the differences in her character brought on by events in the AU would be obvious. Now though, since people don't know Remi, it's difficult to say what's different about her and a lot of the things I wrote just don't have the same impact.

So the solution is I had to write more and now the comic is much longer. Like 3 or 4 times longer. or more. I realized this a few months ago as I re-paneled everything and the darn thing just kept growing.

Another problem is when I drew the first 15 pages I wasn't happy with the results. I felt like I was rushing and I wanted to really do my best on every page. Looking back, I realized that the action in page 13 doesn't exactly read like it's supposed to. Actually, most of the action was pretty lazy XD. But after not making a lot of progress in the past couple months it's pretty clear that I can either draw with the skills I have now or I can like... not draw.

Only one of those choices is going to get anything done.

So. NaNo presents an opportunity. I've always failed NaNo like I fail every time-based challenge (haha repostober I had one job and I had already posted the art and I still failed), but I want to use it to make progress anyway. While there are several more parts to go after this I'm hoping to get part 1 done by the end of the month.

I don't know if I'll post pages as I finish or wait till I'm done with part 1 or what, but I've started working on it again and I'm looking forward to getting somewhere.

[qwizzers]

so i just found your youtube channel like a few minutes ago and I really enjoyed your video talking about different types of social media and your own personal experience/opinions on them because ive been bouncing back and forth between social medias. I personally miss the old twitter and instagram format but ever since instagram has been turned into a reel-obsessed platform it is very difficult to get reach there so i think twitter has been my most safest/casual posting experience for me. i felt like on instagram i had so much pressure to post reels and i never gave in but it was just super frustrating, sometimes really wanting to just completely leave it entirely, but for now i guess im trying to just post more. im not a tumblr user really but i had this tumblr acc ages ago so i decided to log back in just to message here, but i wanted to ask, if theres any way we can talk further abt this privately i would love to go more in depth ! i dont check tumblr often so im not even sure if you will ever answer this haha, or how i would know if you did or not, but i guess a question that also comes to mind is, how do you post without overthinking? i have so much art i make so many doodles and unfinished wips, and people post wips all the time ! and its like, i cannot bring myself to do that either... im scared of someone either tracing over my art/stealing my art /ocs and just im not sure i guess posting wips makes me not want to finish the art, but when i dont post often i often feel pressure to post fully rendered stuff and sometimes ! i just wanna post a cute furry oc with thigh socks is that so much to ask !!!!!!! XD,,, i kind of scare myself out of posting, but how do i make myself more comfortable with posting without worrying? i scare myself from doing anything haha, i WANT to be more active ! and i want to post more oc stuff and even fanart, but i always make excuses like "nah ill do that when i get better, or ill do it when the drawing is finished" and sometimes i dont even post finished sketches or art !!!!!! i will take any suggestions or anything, but im desperate to break this bad habit,,,, and also ! another question is, how do people code their toyhouse? i saw you explain it in the video a bit, and i recently just got my toyhouse to post oc stuff, but im not sure how people code their card.co, and toyhouse so if theres any sort of website or program or anything i can use to do this please let me know ! i really want to decorate my stuff more :3,,, anyways im not sure if you publically post these.... but if i can somehow post my discord somewhere so we can talk further please let me know !

okay, this ask was super sweet and i want to just say thank u bc it was a fun read :3 hopefully if you do see this response - i have a discord if you want to add me and talk, its qwizzers! i have a website (https://qwizz.carrd.co) and you can see all the sites that i use there so if you use any as well you can contact me there!

so my input on avoiding overthinking b4 you post is to start sharing your work in smaller places to build up your confidence! if you're worried about tracing/stealing, i don't want to say that's not a legitimate concern, bc it IS, however i will say it really doesn't happen too often! ive been around for years and i dont think ive...ever had anyone trace me, the most i've seen is heavy referencing and usually if you bring it to their attention, they instantly stop - when this happens i say it's 70% of the time just young kids that don't realize what theyre doing is wrong or didnt realize youd find out. you can also watermark your work! theres nothing wrong with watermarks, even if its just on a sketch! while it cant necessarily guard against tracers, it can guard against blatant theft. you dont necessarily have to post your work in progresses if doing so demotivates you; but you dont have to exclusively post fully rendered art, either. try to get into a habit of making doodles n more simple art in between your big pieces, and get into the swing of posting those! if you feel like you havent posted in a while, just make a quick doodle or something along those lines and share that! you can build up your confidence with posting online in general by starting small - you could start by sharing your art in discord servers or with your friends so you get more confident about sharing your work regularly. "ill do this when i'm good enough" is a SUPER detrimental train of thought...bc there will never be a point where you'll admit to yourself that you feel like you're ready. that's just a part of the artistic progression :') if you have that mindset, you'll ALWAYS have that mindset, and you'll never actually do the projects that you want to! if you think its outside your ability, it probably isnt really, and you should give it a go anyways! even if it doesnt look perfect or turn out exactly how you wanted it to, you'll probably still be happy in the end bc u gave it your best effort :]

heres my bit on toyhouse:

if you know how to code w html, all you have to do is press "edit profile" on a character and you can code directly into the big box field! if you're not seeing that, it has to do with your settings (which i can explain more in depth if need be) if you ARENT familiar w html, thats fine too! you can find a TON of free to use toyhouse code templates, and a lot of them even explain exactly how to use them! basically you can copy and paste their code for free into your character profile, and just change the text so it fits your character :3 i have a favorite folder for all the neat free to use codes i see, here's a link: https://toyhou.se/Qwizz/favorites/79962 *my toyhouse is kind of eyestrainy btw!) carrd is a seperate website: https://carrd.co you can make a carrd for free and its much more straightforward, you basically just drag text boxes/images in and customize the site how youd like :3

[celestie0]

hello ellieeee!!!!

your responses always have me crying ngl!!! somethings you tell me are so precious to me that they make my day, iloveyousomuch!!!

kisses for you here 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

i’m sure you’re the most fun person to be around in real life, at least id be having the time of my life with you.

i hate kaito and i love for writing him so despicable and annoying. i aspire to write a character like him the way you’ve done.

it’s one thing to let people know about our experience and it’s a whole different level of evil to pull them down to your level of failure because you’re insecure and jealous. kai falls in the second category.

nobody else could tell??? i’m sure they didn’t point it out like me. hopefully, i always panda kun to be recognised!!! he’s my favourite character in jjk. i love pandas in general.

it’s fine, dw, after that ending you don’t have to worry about getting a counsel to represent you for my emotional distress!

reader and geto are giving a very tough competition to kickoff!gojo. but ykw i love gojo, he’s my sweetheart. the love of my life. the apple of my eye. ishouldstop.

no because youve done justice to canon!gojo in this sense, their approach to grieving is similar, except kickoff!gojo is less unhinge and dare i say it: more swoon-worthy. i wanna be like gojo at compartmentalizing and yk just…ive had multiple public breakdowns in uni and i’m so very embarrassed by them, i wish i was more like kickoff!gojo in dealing with them. yk where he calmed himself down for our dear reader? like that. i’m still so impressed by that one scene. it’s so close to my heart. i wish people in my life do that for me. calm down instead of bursting out.

ur so emotionslly intelligent my love and ur empathy is enouhh to make me tear up 😭 ppl in ur life must feel so safe w you

you’re the only person who’s said this to me, and god im smiling like an idiot WHILE tearing up. you’ve no idea how much this means to me, itd get awkward if i start ranting about it. BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

thank you for sharing kickoff with us! it literally makes my heart melt and heals me.

i read it with stuff going because it heals me. kickoff has healing abilities. you are just not aware!

you’ve all my prayers and vibes for yourself!!!! you’re such a wonderful soul to have around (even virtually). i appreciate all of you 🥹

it’s so sweet of to be writing and entire character representing her. it always warms my heart when people love their best friends so much and actually make sure that everyone knows that!!!

STOP MAKING ME FLUSTERED!!! IM FLATTERED AS I AM HOLYSHIT I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT READING THIS AND GRINNING LIKE A CAT!!!! ILSYM!!! YOURE THE SWEETEST OF ALL!!

🫶🏻💌

hiiii bb YOUR responses always have me crying pls 😭😭😘💋 i feel like i’d lov hanging out w you too haha 🤣 its giving picnic hangout on the beach w champagne vibes LOL

and yes very true ugh kai is despicable but i really hope he wasn’t comically awful 🤣 i realized in writing ch9 how fkn difficult it is to write a sort of gray character (until theyre revealed to be horrible) idk how a lot of authors/show writers do it

aw girl i hear you ab those university breakdowns 😭😭 the amt of times i broke down crying in my car pls 💀 i think my lowest point was when i full on started sobbing in the library it was so embarrassing🧍🏻‍♀️i also started crying in front of my professor once during office hrs n he didnt know what to do n just handed me a box of tissues 😭 i wanna disappear……but thats besides the point lol. yeah compartmentalizing can be useful sometimes but i think it’s super healthy to let emotions out too for sure :”) but no fs if only i had the composure of gojo in that scene in certain cases haha. it’s like blondie in this is me trying “my words shoot to kill when im mad” thats so me 😭😭 i shld be better ab that

AWW ofc ab the comment u highlighted n also for sharing kickoff :””) im so happy my words made u happy, i really mean them!

and aaa yes my friend isnt even a jjk fan bahaha but she said she’d read kickoff if i started posting it so i had to tribute her somehow 🤣 plus i use her for reference for a lot of the film major stuff so it was the least i could do (lol sort of funny note but when kai mentions working shifts at a movie theater bc he thought a director would notice him……my friend has actually done that LMAOO i kinda roasted her for that 💀💀 yikes)

OFC MY DARLING I LOVE TALKING TO U N BOUNCING FEELS N IDEAS N EVERYTHING OFF OF YOU YOU’re SUCH A JOY <333 ilysm i hope u have a wonderful day 😚💕

[ayzrules]

Your tags on https://www.tumblr.com/ayzrules/725611442866454528/ive-heard-a-lot-of-people-say-dont-reach-out-to

#i still do get bitter over how much time and energy i was willing to put into group 1 that group 1 wasn't returning to me#like this stuff takes so much time to get over

God, yes. I feel like I've been trying to "get over" a friendship that became like that for longer than the friendship has actually been good and healthy for.

Good on you for changing your priorities and sticking with it. I try to do something similar, every time I find myself dwelling on how hurtful that was, I channel the energy into making contact with a different friend.

I hope all the people with excuses in the tags see posts like yours and see what the takeaway is - that the result was NOT the friendship staying as it was with no effort from them. If you treat someone with lack of care, they WILL eventually start to care less about you, for self-preservation if nothing else. Good excuses and good communication about them can stave this off, but only so much.

Hang in there and thanks for sharing.

Good excuses and good communication about them can stave this off, but only so much.

gosh, so much this! Like, I didn't get to this point without talking to said friends - I got there after we had multiple conversations about it and it finally became clear enough to me that nothing was going to change. I think part of it was that I'm the kind of person who puts 100% into things I decide to invest time into, to an extent where it can get detrimental to my own health (i.e. staying up all night working on something instead of getting reasonable sleep) and this kind of bleeds into my interpersonal relationships. That group was my "top priority" in terms of channeling energy and enthusiasm for a long time, and the realization that the others in the group just didn't return the sentiment for whatever reason (and I mean that in the most neutral, least accusatory way possible - i understand that all of us are dealing with school, mental health, jobs, etc) was both difficult and freeing for me. I actually did exactly what the original post said you shouldn't (oops, haha) and literally wouldn't message first in the chat for weeks or months at a time - and every time I did that, the chat was just dead. Zero activity. I think that helped put some things into perspective for me too, especially when another chat I was in didn't suffer from this kind of issue.

every time I find myself dwelling on how hurtful that was, I channel the energy into making contact with a different friend.

100%! It's definitely been a much healthier way of coping with it for me. I haven't cut anyone from group 1 off or blocked/gone no contact or whatever, but I also don't go out of my way to randomly pop in and say hi anymore. Wrt my newer groups/chats I've always thought of it as like, filling the space that group 1 used to hold in a way? if i think of a fun activity that i might have liked to propose to group 1 in the past, i suggest it to my new group instead. i'm more than happy to do work and organize activities or fun lil events like music streams with new group because i get more than just "Ooo" as a response to suggestions. lmao.

If you treat someone with lack of care, they WILL eventually start to care less about you, for self-preservation if nothing else.

100% that last part. i haven't looked at any of the tags in the original post, but i hope those people can understand that it's supremely unhealthy to be waiting desperately for someone to respond and getting upset when they just don't while seeing them respond elsewhere, or wracking your brain for ways to engage people - who are supposed to be your friends! - in ways where they won't just ghost in the middle of the conversation, or feeling bitter when you're trying to put something together for them but the intended recipients don't seem invested or particularly receptive at all (me a few hours before seeing the original post, lol). even though i haven't left the chat or blocked anyone etc, i've definitely moved on, mostly because it was really doing a number on my mental health and I just... didn't want to feel so sad and lonely all the time, yknow? I also wasn't going to blame them for it, because it's not their fault that our expectations of friendship were misaligned. it just happened. sometimes that's what life is. if any of them reach out to me, I respond and engage, and I do still occasionally seek them out. they're just not "top priority" for my energy or time anymore.

Hang in there and thanks for sharing.

thank you <3333 and thank you for sending this ask! I'm glad it's not just me who feels this way. I really did feel like I was going insane, lol

Wishing you all the best <3

[2023-records]

Day 8 __ Sun Jan 8

Recording this late...

It's tourny day! Suprisingly woke up with no back pain after sleeping on this firm memory foam mattress on the floor LOL

I woke up first and then woke Megan and Olivia up so we would still have enough time to get ready, drive 25 min to Long Beach, and warm up before our first game at 9am. Olivia ended up taking days and our eta was 8:45am, leaving us only enough time to park, pay for parking, put on our gear and jump straight into playing... I wasn't trying to trip too much about this limited time. I just turned on all of our butt heaters and blasted the heater. Olivia was bussing 90mph HAHAH and then I could feel Megan's annoyance of our tardiness in the backseat. Once we got in the gym, our on-time teammates told us that they changed the schedule and we were off the first round! Thank the lord.

We were placed in the small gym isntead of the large Walter Pyramid gym, but we eventually made our way there during playoffs. We were all suprisde that the B division pool matches were not that difficult... We definately could have competed in BB/A but probably wouldn't have won frist place. There were 4 our of 7 of us on the team that would switch between outside, middle, and opposite. This meant everyone still gets playing time in every game. It took me some time to figure out my spacial awareness while playing but I finally got the hang of it by the end of pool play. We got into playoffs and kept winning. I ended up playing middle in the finals but I did a pretty good job at slowing down hits, serving the other team off the court, and being a cheerleader! HAHA Although I wasn't playing my prefered position, I felt like I was still doing my part in helping my team in the most necessary way. I'm just glad I got to play with such an amazing group of women who all want to have fun and still put in all our efforts. It was nice that we could all laugh at our own silly mistakes but still bounce back and focus on winning together. I definately didn't feel this way with Dynasty, the previous SF team I played for.

I only cramped a little bit in my left calf during pool play. Once I felt this, I immedately took another magnesium pill, liquid IV, and kept massaging and stretching. I made sure to eat carbohydrate rich snacks in between every match, regardless of if I was hungry or not. I knew that it would help with avoiding cramps. I fianlly figured out how to avoid cramps during my tournament days now. Cramping would always ruin my focus and competitive drive.

Ching and Robin picked up Mama Lu's Dumpling House and brought it back to their house where the whole team came over to grub after a great team win. It was around 7:30pm and I knew that we would have to leave soon after eating and showering. We eneded up leaving Robin's aorund 10:30pm to charge the Tesla until 11pm. Oh boy was the ride home going to be a doozy. The car ride back to South San Jose to drop off Megan took 8 hours... The stops and also the rain slowed us down TENFOLD. On top of that, Olivia was drowsy the entire time and I couldn't get sound naps in since I was scared for my life that we would drive off the road. I tried to stay away to ask Olivia questions and make random conversation so that she could stay awake. At one point I couldn't take it anymore and fell asleep. I felt so bad for Olivia since she basically drank 2 Celcius energy drinks during this ride and they did nothing for her. We made it back to her place in Fremont by 7:45 am and I had to drive back up north to go home. I literally coudln't stay awake as soon as I got on the freeway and immediately felt nauseous. I had to call mikel to ask if I could nap on the couch in the living room. I wasn't expecting Mikel to wake up and I was so ready to sleep in my car parked in his neighborhood. Thankfully he picked up after the second call. I was struggling with exhaustion and hunger... I had basically been awake since 6:30am Sunday and it was 8am Monday. I had to muster up energy to eat the instant Pho before taking a nap. I cried because I was so exhausted and also missed Mikel so much. Although he was still getting over his covid symptoms, he was still able to take care of me :,( I felt so bad because his sore throat was really painful and I was probably acting so delirious. I slept from 9am till 2pm and woke up somewhat revived. I stayed over for the day and got to spend some time catching up with Mikel's parents too. As much fun as it is traveling, I always miss being by Mikel's side since he brings me such warmth and comfort. This weekend made me appreciate the people I currently have in my life even more. You could say it was a really "eye-opening" weekend.

[werebutch]

wahoo

[catboys-need-milk]

I'm thinking about helping a certain neko Satan calm down after a fit with Lucifer

Satan's pretty happy to be a neko anyway, so it's not hard to keep him relatively calm but today he's just fired up. He drags you to your room and tosses you onto the bed before he rips off your shirt. He has two goals: to milk you dry and to pump you full with a litter~

Doesn't matter how calm he gets the second he latches onto one of your breasts, he's gonna complete the second goal either way

-💫

Figured I'd combine both of your asks and do them at once!! ♡♡♡

Its actually kinda funny that you sent me that because I was given a very similar prompt from 💜 anon awhile back! Ive been wanting to write a fic or something about it but I havent figured out exactly what i wanted to do with the idea yet (i also just havent had time haha).

Maybe ill just do an extended drabble or something? Idk why but my brain seems to do better with more flow-of-thought drabbles or headcannon lists. Fics are so Intimidating XD!!!

But oh my fucking god yes though. Theres something like, kinda fucked up about the idea of feeding him to help him calm down after he gets in a fight with big mean Lucifer and I love it. Ugh and the idea that Lucifer totally knows thats what he's doing too 🥵🥵 Also I'll probably write a separate little thing about this later but I think Satan would lowkey like it if you kinda like, fuck with his mind a little while you feed him~? Really get in his head, make him fuck you hard and angrily later ♡♡

And the move went well, thank you you're so sweet for asking!! ♡ I think the most difficult part was when we got all the big stuff and the animals moved and were just kinda left with all the leftover miscellaneous things. Like it was stuff i didn't use regularly, but still hard to decide whether I should keep it or not!

Thank you so much for your asks starkitty!! ♡ I also remember you were the one who asked about my snakes, so I took a picture of one of them for you today as a little bonus!

This is Nicholas! ♡

( ⓛ ω ⓛ ♡ )

[tomorrowillbeyou]

10 14 37 48 52 55 for math ask game

HII OMG THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS!!!

10. do you have any least favourite theorems?

ok for some reason i can't STAND the triangle inequality. every time i see it im like NOT THIS GUY AGAIN and i literally have no reason to feel that way its so irrational but i hate her so much 💔 im sorry triangle inequality

14. do you think you're good at math? do you expect more from yourself?

hmm that's a . tricky one to answer. i think ive always been a little hard on myself because one of my best friends growing up was literally the smartest like as in international olympiad competitor style LOL so i felt inadequate in comparison but at the same time i never felt like i would never be able to do something, i feel like i know deep down very strongly that if i work hard enough i can eventually understand something i don't yet. in terms of creativity and problem solving and stuff like that i do kind of expect a lot more from myself though but like.. i think that will grow over time fingers crossed . also im mega autistic so the whole being rigorous thing is like literally what i already had to do in my regular life or i would get scared of being misunderstood haha. king of overexplaining. anyway this became too long.

37. have you ever used math in a novel and entertaining way?

ough i am a little confused what this is asking. but in many different ways yeah . at school we used to do stupid shit like calculating the number of dots on my blazer or making up ridiculous maths pick up lines or trying to come up with the weirdest proofs or create the fastest growing function stuff like that. ive also helped run kids maths challenges where you kind of have to do that kind of thing . i think i just have a very silly and nonserjous approach to the whole idea of maths like the whole point for me is to have fun with it and mess around so Yea. idk if that's what the question means though

48. has math changed you?

that's another difficult one to answer bc i feel like it's always been really ingrained in my life so it's definitely shaped me as a person for my whole life and i can't imagine the person id be without it but like .. there wasn't really a time before i liked it and then i started liking it and became a different person iykwim. i guess when i became burnt out at the beginning of this year that changed me by making me feel incredibly depressed and lose my sense of identity entirely ahamfhkjrd but were good now!!

52. do you have favourite math textbooks? if so, what are they?

I CANT LIE A TEXTBOOK IS JUST A TEXTBOOK TO ME.. if it gets the job done and isn't super obscure and confusing im chilling 👍👍👍there are probably some really good ones out there but all the ones ive encountered have just kinda been textbooks tbh

55. where is your most favourite place to do math?

welll i guess my favourite place to do most things is in my bedroom at my desk bc that's where i feel most comfortable and private anskdjdk but sometimes if i take a bus while im really struggling with something it helps me get my ideas in order i guess it's the change of scenery or something... on the other hand least favourite i could go on for hours literally anywhere where i have to be around people without headphones in ..my misophonia swag... OH ALSO i like under the stairs in one of the lecture theatres here bc nobody ever goes there and i can blast thursday through my headphones and dance while working on problems sjdksjf but i only go there if i don't have time to go home in between things

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[yesttoheaven]

AMOR FATI

pairing – neil x female!reader

wc – 3.8k

warnings – mention of death, self-blame, anxious/intrusive thoughts, questioning reality, refusal of help, guns, stalking, but I swear there's a light at the end of the tunnel haha

a/n – The last time I suffered so hard for the death of a character, was when Newt died (Maze Runner) and now Neil has captured all my attention and his death has hit me in the same way 😩 I needed a happy ending so I decided to write this!

The Eternal Return and Amor Fati mentioned in this fic are one of the main ideas of Nietzsche's philosophy.

English is not my first language. I am getting help from google translator and he is not always a good ally, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors.

Y/N – your name

She approached the painting hanging on the wall, watching the details closely. Ouroboros. A serpent eating its own tail. Months ago, when Y/N was visiting an antique store in Mumbai, she saw that same symbol. The owner of the establishment approached when she realized her interest in the piece and explained that Ouroboros represents the ideas of movement, continuity and, in consequence, Eternal Return. A concept that the universe and all existence and energy has been recurring, and will continue to recur, in a self-similar form an infinite number of times across infinite time or space.

"Max finally fell asleep." Kat returned to the living room, attracting Y/N's attention.

She walked away from the painting, taking back her seat on the sofa and asked:

"How is he after everything that happened?"

For a moment, Kat looked at the painting on the wall and then at the friend she won in the midst of confusion over the Algorithm. At that time, despite being fighting on the front lines to prevent a possible Third World War, Y/N seems complete. Happy. Today that happiness no longer exists in her eyes.

Letting out a sigh, the woman sat next to her, answering:

"Sator was never a present father. He was always busy... now i can see the kind of work he was involved in. Anyway, Max just got used to his absence."

"It's notable that he's happier at your side. When we first met Max was a bit of an introvert, but today he is radiant." Y/N confessed, showing a small smile and the blonde shook her head, agreeing with her words. "How's everything?"

"Perfectly well. It's weird sometimes... After years of being stuck in a failed relationship, freedom is good."

"It seems like life is good for one of us." The woman let out a bitter laugh, putting the latest events on a scale, but she didn’t want her friend to think she wasn’t happy for her. She really was. "I'm sorry, I just..." The words remain stuck in her throat, while she covers her face with her hands. In addition to physical and mental fatigue, Y/N tried to hide her grief.

Kat touched her shoulder, showing that she was here.

"I know you're hurt, but it's been three months and you never talked about what happened that day... This is not good for you."

"What do I have to say, Kat? The guy I fell in love with was a fucking time traveler! And now he's dead and I don't know what to do. My life just... stopped without him."

"I can imagine how difficult it's for you to cross that line without Neil at your side, but giving up is not an option. Grief is consuming you little by little and you are just accepting it..."

"We are trained to contain our emotions and deal with death in the best possible way. It used to be easy for me, but then he came and turned my life upside down." Y/N put her hands on her knees and stood up, walking without an exact destination. "Neil was always one step ahead of us all..." She stepped forward too and found the painting again, but her mind was lost in thoughts about him. Neil knew her so well. And he had a charming smile, but completely arrogant at the same time. "I was sent to Mumbai to help two agents and when I arrived at Priya's penthouse that night, there he was. When he saw me, that was the first and only time that he let his guard down. I'll never forget how he looked at me, it was one of those breathtaking moments... Completely cliché, I know."

On the sofa, Kat was impressed. When Y/N turned towards her, there was a bright smile on her face. The simple memory brought her a breath of happiness and Kat enjoyed seeing her friend like that, but unfortunately that moment did not last long. Memories aren't enough. Neil is dead and nothing can change that.

"I miss him so much, Kat." The smile disappeared as soon as tears appeared in her eyes, cascading down her cheeks.

"My dear..." Worried about her, the woman got up quickly and approached Y/N, wrapping her in a tight hug. "I'm really sorry."

"I spent the last three months locked up in my a-apartment because I thought I could handle this situation on my own. At times I b-believed it was just a fever dream... Maybe I was losing my mind, but this is proof that everything was real." Through tears blurring her vision, she looked at the watch on her wrist, remembering that night.

Y/N was in a private cabin on the ship. The others were with Ives and Wheeler, going over the mission in search of any loose ends. A standard procedure. Y/N knew she should be with them, but she needed a moment alone to organize her thoughts. And that moment is now. The past few weeks had been a real mess. The inversion was difficult to explain and mainly to understand. She was used to field missions, but being an inverted soldier on the battlefield was not in her plans. Either way, she agreed to be a part of it and running away with biased assumptions was not going to help. Humanity depends on them.

Three knocking on the door caught Y/N's attention, but she remained silent, waiting for the person to give up and leave, but when it didn't, she just murmured 'Come in'.

"So, here you are." The man used a surprised tone of voice and closed the door behind him. "What will our superior think when he learns that you are running away from the briefing?"

She let out a laugh before answering in the same mood:

"Don't worry, I know this mission like the back of my hand. I just needed a moment."

"There's something wrong? Are you ok?" Neil spilled the questions quickly, visibly concerned for her.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Neil." Y/N smiled at him, but looked away just seconds later, confessing: "Maybe I'm a little surprised by the situation. I have spent years dealing with terrorists, but the inversion is really not my point."

"I'm not good with advice, but someone once said to me: Don't try to understand. Certain things in the world do not need an explanation."

"It's wise advice, but I'm a methodical person. Logic has always been my ally in missions."

"A methodical person, huh?" He asked with an arrogant smile playing on his lips and she just rolled her eyes. "I know how worried you were when Sator shot Kat, but we are using the inversion to save the world and you're one of the most brilliant agents I have ever seen. Everything will be fine."

"Are you praising me?"

"What's that? Can't I praise my partner's talent?" Neil pulled up a chair to sit across from her, crossing his arms.

"In that case, thank you. Remind me to put this on my resume." Those words made him laugh and that sound could easily be compared to music in her ears.

Touching her knee, Neil added:

"We are very confident with the mission. You don't need to worry."

"Are you sure?"

"I cannot say that unforeseen events do not happen, but we are prepared for that." Y/N knew he was right, but this mission is the biggest one so far. It's not about saving a country. It's about saving the entire world. This was arousing insecurities in her and it was like walking in a minefield. Ironically, she was familiar with this, but not in such catastrophic proportions. "I want you to have this." The man took his watch off his wrist and handed it to her.

"What’s that supposed to mean?" The question came out as a whisper from between her lips.

It didn't make sense. Why does everything in this conversation look like a farewell?

"We will be on opposite sides tomorrow, but i want you to know... I will always be with you, Y/N."

"I saw the way he looked at you... That's how I used to look at Sator before he became a monster in my life." Kat started, running a hand through Y/N's hair. "When I was lying on that stretcher and partially drugged with the medicines, I saw him beside you... watching you sleep. There was so much love in his eyes. Love for a lifetime, Y/N. So don't do this to yourself. The way he left hurt us all, but there was nothing you or any other agent could do to change what happened at Stalask-12. Neil saved the world. This gave us a second chance. You cannot give up now. This organization needs you. And keeping your mind busy at that moment is the first step towards a fresh start."

"N-No, I can't..." She broke the hug, shaking her head in denial. "I left the organization."

"What? Don't you work for Tenet anymore? But when we first met you told me that you can't imagine working in another area... And that this is your life's work."

"Being an agent is my life's work. I was in Yemen when Tenet found me and assigned me to this mission. My only job is to make this world a less hostile place, but the motto of this organization is not what I believe, Kat. What's happened's happened. Really? It doesn't work for me." Y/N ended the sentence with drops of anger in her voice and Kat did not say a single word.

Through the newspapers, Max's mother followed what was happening in Yemen over the years – a real endless war – and knowing that Y/N was in the middle of it, makes the situation unquestionable. People died in front of her eyes. Friends of the corporation. And then some time later, Tenet arrived with a fresh start, but in the end everything remained the same. She lost Neil. It is as if her life's work never had a happy ending because the world will never stop being a hostile place.

"He knows?" It was easy for Y/N to identify who she was talking about. The Protagonist. Or just TP.

"Here's another problem. I worked with him and indirectly worked for him at the same time! God, that man created this organization! And his name remains a mystery to us all!" She pinched the tip of her nose, feeling frustrated with all the secrets that haunt this organization. "And answering your question, yes, he knows, but he did not argue about it. I was a complete mess and he was not doing very well either... He stayed in my apartment for the first month, probably to make sure I didn't do anything stupid." And Y/N would be forever grateful for that. She likes him. Just as friends, of course. TP was a reserved man, but it was he who held her when everything was falling apart. "But we've had a fight. I blamed him for what happened at Stalask-12 and since then we haven't spoken anymore."

It was easy to see that they carried more pain than they could actually bear. Y/N lost her great love and the man lost his best friend. The situation just turned into a conflict between them and that was the result.

Realizing the sadness reflected in Y/N's eyes, Kat decided to change the subject of the conversation. Keeping that thought, she smiled and pointed to the painting on the wall. Maybe that could help.

"You seemed interested in this one."

"Oh yes, in my spare time I am a lover of art and its meanings. It is really attractive the way Ouroboros is connected to the Eternal Return..."

"And Amor Fati too." Kat completed, piquing Y/N's curiosity. This part was new to her. "It's impossible to affirm the Eternal Return without loving life. We need to learn that things happen as they do. Sometimes seemingly good. Sometimes seemingly bad. We don’t always get it our way... Unless we choose that whatever way it is, is our way. When we choose to Amor Fati, to love everything that happens, to love our fate, then we will always get it our way. Because the way it is, is the way it is. Unchangable. And therefore it must be good, even if it sucks."

These words touched Y/N's heart. This was a contradiction to what she is experiencing right now. Love your fate. She would like to understand and accept what happened, she really wanted, but why is it so difficult to move on?

Because Neil is dead.

That was the only explanation for her. The end of a relationship would be more acceptable. If he were alive, things would be completely different now. However, grief is overwhelming. How could she just accept what happened?

"I... I gotta go." That was all she managed to say before picking up her bag and leave the penthouse, ignoring Kat's protests.

When the elevator doors closed, an exhausted sigh left her mouth and the instant she saw her reflection in the mirror, Y/N wanted to cry again. After three months alone, she thought visiting her friend would be a good idea. Kat was willing to help, but the problem was that Y/N is not allowing herself to be helped. As soon as the doors opened, she left the metal box and found the hotel lobby partially empty. Her watch showed it was 3:13 AM, this explains the absence of people on the street as well. In front of her car, she searched the bag for the key and coincidentally her cell phone started to vibrate. Probably the text messages were from Kat, but confusion hit Y/N the instant she looked at the identifier and saw that the messages did not belong to any of her contacts.

Stay away from the car

They put a bomb

I'm on my way

Her first reaction was to take a few steps back and look around, trying to understand what’s going on and find the person responsible for these texts, but Y/N was alone in the dark street. When she thought it might be an unnecessary prank, a black SUV approached at high speed. The car stopped just a few meters away from where she was, but that was enough to make her body freeze.

"Y/N, come on!" The man exclaimed, the urgency in his voice would have made her run immediately, but she didn't move. Her feet had frozen on the floor. This cannot be real. "Come on, get in the car! We don't have much time!" He tried again, it was possible to hear the sound of the other cars approaching.

Y/N watched in slow motion the moment he left the car and ran towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"How is this possible?" She asked in a whisper, completely lost in his blue eyes.

"It's good to see you too." Neil admitted, feeling his heart race. She looked so fragile in his arms. Very different from the last time he saw her. "We have to go." He accompanied her to the car and as soon as Y/N took the passenger seat, he returned to his seat.

For her this moment was like a fever dream, so she just looked down and started counting her fingers. One, two, three, four, five... Neil noticed, but said nothing, just kept driving. The cars were fast approaching, but he would do everything possible and impossible to get Y/N away from these people.

"Give me your cell phone." He looked at her for a brief moment, but when Y/N didn’t react, he wasn't sure if she heard it, so he just took the phone from her hand and threw it out the window. That was enough to get her out of the numbness:

"What the fuck, Neil?!"

Despite the adrenaline rushing through his body, the man laughed.

"If I found you because of your cell phone, they can too." After that, he crossed the red light and made a risky turn, trying to end this chase. "Before you ask, no, this is not a dream. Unfortunately this is very real..." Neil didn't like what he saw when he adjusted the rearview mirror. "And now they are getting ready to shoot us."

That observation put Y/N on alert and she looked back, seeing a man with an AKS-74U and another with a Beretta M12.

"If you knew it wasn't a dream, why didn't you bring an armored car?" She ran her tongue between her lips, smiling at the man beside her. Neil tried to argue, but she just took off her seat belt and picked up the Glock 19 stuck in the vest he was wearing.

Y/N crawled out of the car and sat at the window opening. This encouraged the men in the two cars to start shooting, trying desperately to hit her. Neil shouted something that she couldn't understand and then she felt one of his hands on her thigh, giving her stability to continue with the plan. With her arm resting on the roof of the vehicle, Y/N aimed the gun at the car that was closest to them. Her intention was not to start a firefight in the middle of one of the main avenues in the city, but she had no other option. Holding her breath, she fired the first shot and the bullet hit the tire, taking the car out of circulation. Y/N celebrated while preparing for the second car, but dealing with this one was not an easy task. Now they were in a tunnel and, consequently, losing speed because of the other cars that came along the way. Neil left two pats on her leg, indicating that she had better get back in the car and that is what she did. Screams, honks and gunshots echoed through the tunnel, turning the place into a war zone. Whoever these men were, Y/N knew they weren't going to give up.

Tired of playing cat and mouse, she went to the back seat, getting on her knees. Through the broken glass above the trunk, Y/N adjusted the aim of her gun, ignoring the sniper and focusing on the driver. With another accurate shot, the bullet hit the man's chest and he lost control of the vehicle. The car overturned for a while, streaking the asphalt, but no other car was involved in the accident. Y/N sighed in relief and looked for another possible threat, just checking, but when she realized that the area was clean, she returned to the passenger seat, leaving the gun on the dashboard in front of her.

"Next time I'm going to get an armored car." Neil comments, stepping on the gas. "Nice shot, by the way."

"Anytime." Y/N smiled, trying to control her breathing.

With the adrenaline disappearing from her body, it was hard for her to believe that this was really happening. For many nights she cried, wondering what it would be like if Neil just came back to her, but now she was afraid to wake up and realize that it was just another vivid dream.

The sun was rising when they arrived in a shed away from the city. Seen from the outside, the place was a little scary, but the interior wasn't that bad. There was some equipment like trackers, walkie-talkie, bulletproof vests, weapons, ammunition; a table with a mess of papers and on the other side two beds and something that Y/N supposed to be a private bathroom.

"Where we are?"

We. That simple word echoed in her mind. Y/N thought that "we" didn't exist anymore.

"For now in a safe place. It's dangerous for you out there." He answered the question and took a bottle of water, handing it to her after taking a generous sip.

"Who are these people, Neil?" She wanted answers, lots of answers, and that frustrated the british spy because for the first time he didn't know what could happen.

Neil had a mission and that mission ended with him dying in Stalask-12, but after what TP did, everything changed.

"We have a name..." He wanted to say more, he wanted to reassure her, but that was all he had at the moment.

Y/N drank some water and left the bottle on the table, looking at some reports and photos. All photos were of the same man.

Lenard Vaher

"But apparently they don't just want you..."

It took a few seconds and when the realization hit Y/N, concern appeared on her face.

No, not him.

"Where's TP? He's safe, right?"

"He was going to see you when Lenard's men kidnapped him. This happened three weeks ago." And considering the anger in Neil's voice, finding TP was proving an almost impossible task, but in the midst of so much concern, one point attracted Y/N's attention.

"You said he was going to see me..."

"There was something he needed to tell you." Neil sighed, resting his hands on the table. A few strands of blond hair fell over his forehead, but he quickly shook his head back, as he always did. "He returned to Stalask-12, Y/N."

After that statement, the only sound that could be heard was Neil's footsteps closing the distance between them and the first thing she did was put her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. Neil smiled. And that was not one of his famous smiles. That was a shy smile. His heart was beating like a drum and it was all because of her. Loving Y/N was something so special and pure, that Neil accepted his fate without a second thought. Saving the world, he was giving her a second chance to live, but now he is the one who received a second chance.

"I missed you every day." Before she could begin to consider the meaning behind his words, he settled his mouth upon hers, robbing her of thought.

She closed her eyes and melted against him, flattening her hands on his arms. Neil caught her bottom lip in his teeth, nibbling and licking at it until she thought she might perish from the intensity of the feeling. She whimpered at the sensation, and he rewarded the sound by deepening the kiss, giving her everything she desired. His tongue stroked hers, slow and insistent. A lush, decadent pleasure unfolded within them, snaking through their veins as though it had lain coiled in anticipation for years.

Just waiting for this moment.

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a/n – really hope you enjoy it and thank you soooo much for reading ;)